Two-edged Sword At Work

Funny how such familiar words can still arrest my soul.

Yesterday was a day of sorting clothes. Not only was I putting away winter, taking out summer, but I was determining which newly purchased items were needed to supplement this season's wardrobe. The clothing budget is pretty much depleted; expenditures must be at a minimum. So in spite of Steve and Barry's ridiculously low prices, I want to only keep the necessary articles.

The key word this morning is necessary. The key concept is depleted clothing budget. Keep those two things in mind as you read the following familiar words.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:
I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Phil. 4:11-13

I seem to have a very spoiled attitude that goes something like this: I deserve to, at the very least, have current styles and matching colors.

That attitude has been assumed most of my life. And contentment, true contentment that doesn't long for something more, has not been mine apart from the fulfillment of that expectation.

Hmmm. That's a problem according to Philippians 4. That is less than what the Spirit of God has for me.

I've learned contentment with my food budget, travel budget, entertainment budget, education budget, garden budget, and decor budget (well, for the most part...) But clothes - that's a different story.

The Bible is talking about heartfelt contentment. Would I be content (satisfied with what one has, not wanting more or anything else) with outdated hand-me-downs? Now don't get me wrong. I have no problems with hand-me-downs. Consignment shops were my favorite in San Francisco. But outdated hand-me-downs? Therein lies the challenge.

The scripture says "in whatever state...to be content..."

I could live with it. Indeed, for those who are wondering, there have been such seasons. But was I found not wanting more or anything else? That is the question put to me by the Holy Spirit this morning.

Care to join me in such a heart searching question? Scripture is amazingly alive and pertinent. I can feel it dividing soul and spirit this morning, discerning the thoughts and intents of my heart.

May it always have free reign in my life. I stand in desperate need.