Putzing

Home, alone. Uninterrupted silence. Well, the little man is here, but as long as there are imaginary places and friends (and there are always those in abundance where he lives) I will continue in silence.

Early this morning I made lists of things to do and assigned them with care to differing members of the household. But as they arose one by one, they disappeared almost as quickly, off to different commitments which I had either forgotten or not heard about (I have been away for the past few days.) And so, I am here with my list but no workers.

Oddly enough, I am glad for that - today. Usually it would leave me a bit flustered and needing to pause while my thoughts reallign themselves with the reality before me. (It is the usual post-holiday New Year crunch. You know, regrouping, boxing up, reorganizing, etc.) But today, I need the break. Managing bodies and energy is demanding and I am weary and tired.

My little home needs much rearranging - so much that it is a bit daunting. Hence, my solitude has been spent so far in putzing, assessing, and mindless chipping away. As I walk from spot to spot, I just do what I see to do. Normally, this is far from a recommended approach to organization and cleaning. But today, it is all I can manage. Making a grand plan eludes me; finding the creative energy for big dreams is out of reach. So I putz.

And I really only putz well when alone. Otherwise I feel the weighty responsibility for oversight of others. Today, they are already directed elsewhere. And today that suits me fine. (In all honesty, I didn't think I was up for the big push. You know, the usual post-holiday New Year push.)

So I will sigh deeply and not look at the mountain before me; I will just take one step at a time. And soon I will get up from this chair and I will continue to chip away.

Guess it will be a putz kind of day.