Thoughts on Parental Authority

authority - 1. the power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command, or determine.
2. a power or right delegated or given; authorization: Who has the authority to grant permission?

Notice two particular phrases used in the above definitions: the power and the right.

Sometimes parents just need to remember that they have been given authority by God; invested in that authority is power and privilege.

With power and privilege comes responsibility. The scriptural exhortation is to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." We must take our charge seriously. We are interested in accurate representation of Him through true judgment and appropriate discipline. Wisdom is coveted as we seek to instruct, train, and guide our children.

But in our fervent attempt to represent Him properly, in our awareness of the need to steward these charges for His purposes, we sometimes reach an impasse. We stall, choke, freeze. What if we do this wrong? Isn't it possible that we will somehow permanently damage his soul, his psyche? Couldn't we misshape him? What about that decision made on their behalf - did we misdirect them? Did they miss out on God's will because of us?

This is weighty stuff. It could leave your head spinning, and often it does. As I said, we freeze. At the very least, we end up with a knotted stomach.

But God, in His wisdom, gave us the power and the right - He Himself stands by our decisions. Obviously, we are talking about decisions made within the confines of Scripture - step beyond those bounds and you are on your own. But we can have confidence - no, we must have confidence - in His choosing us, in His investment of authority in such earthy vessels, and in His willingness to stand by that choice and empowerment.

We were sanctioned for this very purpose - to walk in His appointed authority. No psychology book will give you that authority, no culture or tradition, no talk show host, no author or specialist. That's right, not even the professionals. It comes from Him, and it is already yours. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord." That is their portion, and the blessing of obedience to that command can be theirs. You have the power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; the right to control, command, or determine.

You have the power and the right.

What you determine may not agree with a neighbor or friend. The command you give will often look different. That is okay! Maybe you aren't sure about the psychological impact of your discipline. Don't let it stymie you! Am I advocating a complete isolation from all input and counsel? Of course not! First and foremost is the scripture. We must always heed the principles and truths we learn from those precious pages. And the wise will look to those who have been successful before them. Look, listen, and learn. There is much to glean from the experience of others.

Remember, today you are equipped, not tomorrow after you've read another book or had that counseling session. Don't be lulled into inaction because of fear or lack of confidence. God will bless your efforts. God Himself will lead you. And He will use your choices for good in the lives of your children. My! What a totally hopeless calling this would be apart from the confidence we have in Him. The fact that He is working all things together for good in their lives is my life-line!

I want to encourage parents who are walking in the light to realize that they can determine, command, and yes, even control with God's endorsement. They rule the roost, they can have it their way. When Dad or Mom speak a word or command, it has just become God's will for their children. Period. A child's appropriate submission to Dad's word will build them for God's purposes. The command is not the most important aspect - submission is. God is able to use us in that way. Touching or not touching that particular toy is not the thing that will ultimately prepare them; it is their submission and obedience to what Mom and Dad require that will prepare them. It is not whether or not you administered that spanking in the exact same manner as your friend does - it is their response to the spanking that matters.

Please understand, I am not saying that we can be flippant in our dealings with our children. But I am saying this: God did not intend for this to be so overwhelmingly difficult that we need a doctorate in childhood psychology in order to accomplish His will. Nor should it intimidate in such a way that we are left immobilized. He is with us, He empowers us, He stands by us, He even accomplishes His purposes through us. And it is His doing more than our own.

Let us humbly acknowledge that it is Him, not us. And therefore, let us act with confidence, walking in the fullness of the authority He bestowed. He has supplied us with power and privilege so that the job could be done with joy and simplicity, knowing that our greatest hope is His great faithfulness.