Conversations with a "would be" prodigy (but not quite!)

"Merrick, now that you've learned to read numbers and letters so well, it's time to learn to read music."

"No, I can't do that! What is it anyway?" (Is that a typical sanguine response, or what!?)

"Well, you know how music has lines and little dots with sticks on them on the lines?" Head nods in response. (For the past two days he has dragged a song book around the house studying both the music and the words to Phantom of the Opera.)

I continue my explanation. "Well, the little dots tell you what notes to play and the rhythm, too. On a piano, we play notes with letter names - ABCDEFGA." (I here sing an A minor scale to demonstrate.)

"Oh. I can do that!" And off he runs, only to return with a book of Chopin sonatas. After several attempts at reading the name, he resigned himself to asking for help. "What does this say?" We all smile and tell him, letting him know that he would probably not be starting with Chopin.

Undaunted by this doubtful response, he headed straight to the keyboard, determined to sort through the myriad of little black notes found on any given page of a Chopin sonata. I told Louissa that she had a very eager student, and she quickly joined him on the bench for a few pointers. (Is she not a sweetheart?) In no time at all, I heard the joyful tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" being played. Running in to show me his new primer, he exalted, "Mom, did you hear my music?"

Oh, the joy of learning - and oh, the privilege of learning at home!

Glory

The best love, the greatest love, the truest love comes from a heart understanding the trueness, greatness, and goodness of His love. When we have glimpsed the magnitude of love which covers all our sin, when we have seen His face of infinite love, when our hearts have experienced and received with a childlike acceptance the love that He so freely bestows, then our hearts freely can, and will, return such love.

True, sadly true, we falter in our reflection of so great a love. And therein lies the most effective repentance - genuine sorrow at failing to faithfully return love to the lover of our soul. With broken hearts, we acknowledge our failure to the One who has shown boundless mercy and love. Ours is a tarnished looking glass and imperfect in its likeness - but in time that reflection grows purer and truer.

2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

From glory to glory, as we gaze at His glory, we become free to love with abandon. Nothing any longer usurps our desire, no danger can cloud the light of His face, there will be no diminishing of our devotion. Difficulties are encountered with peace, joy overrides mourning, and holiness becomes tangible in our mortal existence.

We are His treasure always. We are the apple of His eye, His very own pure and spotless Bride. And He is preparing us to be by His side for all of eternity. He is working His will in our very lives, in these - our very own earthen vessels. This is our precious, wonderful, holy portion.

Who can comprehend such a wonder? He will teach us His holy ways; we will walk in His holy paths.

Oh, how my heart sings, and oh, how precious are His ways with me, my gentle, kind, and faithful God and Father.

A Young Family For an Hour or Two

We all sat in the family room together watching the A&E production of Lorna Doone (well, the little guy half watched the movie while being distracted by Dr. Seuss on a computer game - or was he half playing while being distracted by Lorna Doone...probably both.) (And don't feel badly that we were watching a movie together - we are very interactive TV watchers!)

But when I say we all, I mean the three littlest and the old mom and dad. I felt that warm feeling of having them all young and at home - the eldest were out and about, doing what older children do when the night is theirs to plan. It was a throwback to the old days when we were first getting started on all this family stuff. Quite nice, it was (the reminiscing as well as the reality of time with just them.)

Now mind you, the little ones aren't so very little (12, 10, and 6) and don't always appreciate that reference these days. But I am afraid that when you are the bottom three of nine, you may always be relegated to the status of "little". Time will tell on that conjecture.

Every once in a while, a glimpse like tonight's reminds me that time moves on and things that we want to revisit will not, indeed cannot be returned to again. I can wish with all my heart that for just one week they would all be small tots together, running in the backyard playing wagon trains on the Oregon trail, or whatever that favorite memory may be. But that will not happen.

So a night alone with my young'uns was special and warm and cozy. And for today, I will be glad for the time shared this evening with those "little" guys of mine.

It's good to remember that these days, too, will be memories which I may one day long to revisit. Aren't family times the best? Oh, to bottle this and keep it forever. It is God's plan and it's a good one.

American Bravado Won't Always Do

Perhaps it is not so much an American characteristic as it is merely human tendency, but we glorify strength. To tell of overcoming some incredibly difficult situation is a sure way to win admiration and accolades. Your story may be written up in Reader's Digest. You may even gain a slot on Oprah.

I myself love to hear of deeds requiring bravery and daring. I get goosebumps, my heart swells, and my eyes tear up. So it is only natural that I should feel immediate disdain when I read the story of the Gibeonites who didn't face the children of Israel in battle, but rather deceived them with pretense and trickery. On closer reflection, I find that a commendation is in order. Let me remind you of their tale.

God had told Joshua to defeat every nation in the new promised land - to destroy them all. After they had soundly defeated Jericho and Ai, the neighboring nations sat up and took notice. Quickly they all decided to join forces and stand together to gain victory over Israel - all except one. The Gibeonites instead "worked craftily"; they donned old clothes, packed moldy bread, carried torn and mended wineskins, and wore patched sandals. Their pretense was that of having travelled from afar to make a covenant with this people whose God had earned fame. No neighboring nation were they (so they said!) "This bread of ours we took hot for our provision from our houses on the day we departed to come to you. But now look, it is dry and moldy." The leaders of Israel bought it hook, line, and sinker, and entered into a covenant of peace with them.

The Gibeonites knew that God had promised complete victory to His people. Apparently they feared this God and His word. They strategized accordingly and were not destroyed. Somewhere in my Bible I read that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Perhaps they were on to something.

It is true that there are other lessons to be learned from this story. The leaders of Israel failed to inquire after the Lord regarding entering into this covenant. Who knows what the outcome may have been had they sought His counsel.

But the Gibeonites had heard of the Lord's word and responded, not with false bravado or prideful arrogance, but with acceptance and belief in His word. They feared His greatness. And this is the beginning of wisdom.

Almost Two Done!

I have just about finished two very short offerings that we wanted to have ready in time to head to Spain.

The first is an expanded version of the brochure entitled The Four Pillars of Christian Homeschooling. Elisa Meyers is busily translating it even as I write.

The second is untitled (it will probably be something like Protecting and Nurturing Destiny.) I used some notes from something I shared years ago involving a study of Jochobed and Jehosheba. I think it will be encouraging and challenging. I hope so anyway.

I feel a bit insecure about this adventure. But that seems to be part and parcel of all adventure. At least in my limited experience.

I love writing, I love the topic, and I want more than anything to help parents see God's heart for their children. But how well I can do this is in question. Still, I will offer these brief works in the hope that someone somewhere might be strengthened and helped. If our dear friend in Spain (Paco) is at all encouraged in his campaign to see the church of Spain embrace the call to raise up a future generation by my small part - then I will be glad to have helped.

This is an exciting adventure. Have I ever told you that I love adventures?!

His Love Prevails

Today was one of those "look around the house and lose it days". Every room is a bit undone - the bedroom moves are far from complete, the pantry definitely needs reorganizing, the laundry piles are in need of a full days help, the book cupboard is stacked up high, the toy bins are all mixed up and need sorting, and on and on it could go.

Yup. I started to lose it.

But it was Sinclair girls getogether day, so we left the mess behind and met at Brietta's house for the afternoon. We prayed, studied the Word, and it was a good use of time. Then we headed back to the homestead where they all busied themselves in the kitchen and made a fabulous meal for all to enjoy together - all 16 of us (plus Jackson!)

Now several folks are painting the walls in the loft while the remainder watch American Idol and play on our computers. Little Gabriel busily plays, Bronwyn sits with Mom (she doesn't get her to herself much these days), and Jackson sleeps on Louissa's lap. Merrick, of course, is mesmerized with the TV show. It's the end of a good day.

Yup. Tomorrow we will still face many of the same messes. We will tackle a couple of them and try not to look at the others. Practicing will need to be done, perhaps some school. But most of all, we will seek the Lord and be blessed.

Aren't you so glad for His love? Oh, what a difference it makes.

Reminded

A friend called today, and reminded me that we need reminding...

to be faithful to His voice, not the voices around us.

to be diligent to do things His way, not the world's way.

to be confident that His word is always true in spite of shifting cultural trends.

to trust in His unending love, his mercies which are new every morning, and His redeeming nature.

Paul reminded, she reminded, and I'm reminding. May we always exhort and encourage one another to love and good works!

Musical Bedrooms - Again

Someone once told me that he loved staying at my house because he got to stay in a different room every time he came.

True. We switch around - alot. I think that every bedroom but one has been the master bedroom, and the attic and family room as well.

This is telling of my love for change, but also of a family who is growing - evolving - morphing, if you will. And the change continues! Today we will finish moving Jamie and Merrick into the downstairs room and get Carina out of the extra room (attic!) to make room for a young man who will join the family for a season. Carina will temporarily "nest" in the apartment, until the loft is finished. We have learned to never feel too settled!

I'm not good at communication and relationship. I am working on it (have been for how many years now?) but I love having people in my home and have found that by just sharing life with them there is a transmitting of ideas, love, and Jesus. That makes me happy. I am quite comfortable with sharing my home - we've been doing it for almost 25 years - and I think people are comfortable being here. So, for now that will continue.

As a young girl I loved having people stay with us. It didn't happen all that often, but I relished, with pure delight, having visitors in our home.

People fascinate me. Their life, different than mine in so many ways, is intriguing - I love to learn all about them. What a wonderful privilege to share time with them. I always feel so very honored.

So hopefully my home will continue to have an open door. Hopefully people will still be joining us for seasons of time. Hopefully it will all continue.

And so will switching bedrooms!

The Little Guys

~ She made the whole delicious meal herself. Not bad for a 12 year old. She's definitely stepping up to the plate. Hooray!

~ receive, believe, achieve, conceive - She seems to spell them all without much difficulty. She is a sharp one!

~ With a twinkle in his eye, he tells me that he likes his new room. He especially likes putting on his big brother's red and white towel and wearing it like a cape over his muscle-y spiderman suit!

Ten more years and then we'll see what they are up to. And I know how soon that will be.

My Day

These days I find myself shying away from leaving the house. Outings exhaust me and I don't seem to have the push to "go for it". But today was an exception.

We had scheduled a visit with some friends in Watertown back in November and I felt that I could manage to make the trek. I am home, tired but glad to have gone. The friends we met (two couples) have been in ministry for years and our relationships go back 20+ years. It was good to spend time with them.

My youngest children had a play day here at home. "Finish your chores and practicing, and then set up Playmobil on the kitchen table and play. Have fun!" Reports upon arriving home confirmed that indeed, they played all day. Good. Happy memory day accomplished!

Another did chores, school, and practicing, then broke out the paints. She loves doing still life settings and tried her hand at "An Orange". Another good day accomplished.

The others stuck to routine. Life when you get older can be that way! They seemed happy enough when I arrived home - they were entertaining themselves with American Idol. I have mixed feelings about these initial showings - they delight in highlighting the contestants' failures. Not very nice, many times.

Now I sit, catching up with the world of blogging and waiting to watch Federer play tennis at the Australian Open. He is always exciting to watch.

So there you have it. One of those simple, ordinary, chronological posts. Hope it will do for now!

My Day

These days I find myself shying away from leaving the house. Outings exhaust me and I don't seem to have the push to "go for it". But today was an exception.

We had scheduled a visit with some friends in Watertown back in November and I felt that I could manage to make the trek. I am home, tired but glad to have gone. The friends we met (two couples) have been in ministry for years and our relationships go back 20+ years. It was good to spend time with them.

My youngest children had a play day here at home. "Finish your chores and practicing, and then set up Playmobil on the kitchen table and play. Have fun!" Reports upon arriving home confirmed that indeed, they played all day. Good. Happy memory day accomplished!

Another did chores, school, and practicing, then broke out the paints. She loves doing still life settings and tried her hand at "An Orange". Another good day accomplished.

The others stuck to routine. Life when you get older can be that way! They seemed happy enough when I arrived home - they were entertaining themselves with American Idol. I have mixed feelings about these initial showings - they delight in highlighting the contestants' failures. Not very nice, many times.

Now I sit, catching up with the world of blogging and waiting to watch Federer play tennis at the Australian Open. He is always exciting to watch.

So there you have it. One of those simple, ordinary, chronological posts. Hope it will do for now!

Ta Da!

Jackson Edward Paladin
January 15, 2006
8 lb. 4 oz
Reddish hair!
Beautiful!!

Maturity

Like it or not, I have reached a point in life where more lies behind me than lies ahead. From this "over the hill" vantage point, Paul's words to the Philippians seem to have a new emphasis.

I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.

No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.

I hope all of you who are mature Christians will agree on these things. (Phil. 3:12-15)

What then, at this point in my life, with so many closed chapters (many pleasant - those are always the hardest to leave behind) is to be my continued goal? "To become all that He has saved me for." I most certainly must echo Paul's words when he says, "No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be..."

What will this require? "A focus of energy: forgetting what is past and looking ahead with expectancy."

Is this challenging for me? Yes. It most certainly requires just that - a focus of energy.

"For the Joy set before Him ... "

Recent words shared by a dear brother exhorting us to be "not slothful in zeal" brought to mind the realization that zeal is a precious and guarded commodity. It is in our keeping; it is not some magical substance that either is or isn't ours. We find here that Paul is challenging the "mature Christians" in Philippi to attain unto this very thing.

It is the one who has been running for some time who must be reminded to keep in the race. The starters are fresh, still filled with the excitement of the challenge. For some odd reason, although they are further from the goal line, they are more expectant of completion. The ones who have been faithfully running (not perfectly running, but are still in the race) understand more fully the challenge - they are the ones who need the reminder.

This was the first time I noted his address to the "mature Christians" (and how many times have I read these very verses!?)
"Mature Christian (read: been at it a while). Yup - that would be me."
"Listen up and learn."
"Got it. I press on, Lord. I press on. And Your goodness which will continue to be shown to me and those I love, will give me hope. Your joy will give me strength. And I will not look back, but ahead. I know You are in the future as well as the past and the moment. The same today, yesterday, and forever. You are God."

True Confessions

God knows that my heart's desire has been to see our home re-established in order and peace.

But I have been sentenced to living life from my arm chair. Hmmm.

True confession #1 - It is much quieter at my house now that I am confined to a quieter lifestyle. The whirlwind has been quarantined? Ouch!

True confession #2 - The kids are learning how to do their work better than when I was up and about. I think my tendency is to do instead of to administrate. I already learned that lesson once. Ouch!!

True confession #3 - I probably would still be wondering how I would ever find time to write a book if this had not happened. Too distracted before. Ouch!!!

True confession #4 - He is so great that He can take every situation and cause it to work together for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. My, what a Redeemer. Hallelujah!!!!

Girls' Day

Finally. I am excited and sorry to say that this will be our first Sinclair girls' "getogether". Excited that it is finally happening. Sorry that it took so long.

We will begin by looking at the book "Becoming a Woman of Excellence". All of us! From the mom (50 yrs.) down to the youngest (Camilla, 10 yrs.)- all looking at the scriptures, sharing life experiences, and praying. This will be wonderful! Finally!!!

We then will move into the kitchen to prepare a meal for the whole clan since Tuesday has become the Sinclair Family Dinner night, complete with married children and spouses and grandchildren. It is a full table, a bit loud and chaotic, but fun.

While all this is happening, the guys (whichever ones are available) will work together on house projects. This week it is our turn to receive - they will be busily working on the unfinished upstairs loft so that it will soon be ready for Carina to use as a bedroom. We shall see how long that takes! :)

At any rate, my day is planned and it promises to be a good one. Time together with Him and my loved ones. Hmmmm. What do you think?

Meekness

Meek - not prideful or arrogant, a humble spirit, not marked by false pride.

But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace. Psalm 37.11

I have wrestled time and time again in an effort to change my makeup. Don't we all have weaknesses that we would like to erase, strengths that lead us astray, frailties, and error? Perhaps it is only me, perhaps you as well. But one thing I have discovered; I am unable to effect a change.

This leads me to one place and one place only - the cross. In absolute humility and acceptance of my weakness and frailty, in acknowledgement of my need, I come. Without an ability to fix it, I come. "Just as I am, I come."

Oh, what peace is afforded through the cross, and not only because of the promised help that I find there. Oh, there is joy enough to be attained in knowing that He will work in me to accomplish His good will. He will transform me! But the cross elicits humility. Indeed, I am not sure that we can truly arrive at the foot of the cross apart from brokenness - a setting aside of our false pride and self-effort. And it is there that the path to peace begins.

In time I have come to learn that my peace is not dependent on the outworking of His promise. Peace is mine today because I can lay down the wrestling. I simply come, knowing that it is His responsibility to perform the change. If He wants me to hear, it is my part to yield my ear; it is His part to open the ear. By acknowledging what responsibility is mine and what is His, I enter into freedom from unnecessary stiving.

Oh, what peace is mine. My soul is in His Hand.

Coming Soon - A New Look (I Hope!) And Misc. Thoughts

Since I was first setup on this blog site I have wanted to customize the look a bit. But I am computer illiterate, so I am at the mercy of others who can find time to help me. Louissa is the one I have asked and she said YES. I cannot tell you how many months ago that was, and I just don't take the time to sit down with her and get it done.

But these days, the sit down part of the equation is the given. So soon, I think, she will sit down, too, and we'll get this put together.

So far the day has been somewhat productive. I have always had a hard time sitting while asking others to work. I have no problem requiring them to help when my sleeves are rolled up as well, but to sit here in my comfy chair, dictating every move - well, that is a real challenge. But today I have attempted to continue my "armchair quaterbacking" and with some success, I might say. The kids are very cooperative, even humoring.

I'm getting some administrative work done myself. Chore charts, new budgets, mailings prepared. The kind of stuff that demands sitting still long enough to organize and write and brainstorm. I realize that it is the sitting still part that often escapes me.

And I now have the skeleton of a book somewhat fleshed out. I think I need to expound a good deal more still, but it is coming together. It will be a short book on the four goals of Christian home education. Fun!

Plans for our (Rick and me) Spain trip are in the making. We may stay on after the conference (March 23-25 in Madrid) and join some missionary friends in Morocco for a few days. That would be most interesting!

Challenges always abound here in this realm. But so does grace. Sometimes we just have to reach a little further and dig a bit deeper. Or work harder to quiet ourselves and see Him. But He is there, with outstretched hand, reminding us that this is not home. There is no haven here - only in Him. He alone is our refuge and Strong tower.

Hallelujah! We'll keep pressing on to see a better place!

GI Jane - Is She Back?

The kids are probably beginning to think that there is no mercy around here. But in reality, life in this house is much softer than it once was. It is only a shadow of what it used to be. And lately I'm thinking I need to shape up the troops again. So bring on the drill sargeant. Basic training. Yup. That's what I'm thinking.

I remember the day when Pastor Mike Tomford would step inside my door and within minutes he would smirk and refer to me as the Sarge. For lots of different reasons, those days are long gone. But maybe not forever gone. I think I can see the emergence of that former authority. Give me a few more days like this one and we may be humming like a fine tuned machine once again. I don't know. I have my doubts most of the time, but deep inside I want that. I long for that. I LOVE THAT!!

So I will hold onto that notion. And perhaps when boot camp is over, I will be smiling again.

Running on Low

Patience. Peace. Self-control.

Today proved that I have need of more of these fruits in my life. Nothing like a difficult situation - a bit of trying - to reveal where things are really at, to discover the limitations, to see the lack of depth.

Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity your strength is small.

Indeed, my strength is small. I stand undone.

Positive proof once again: I need His mercy and grace. How wonderful to know that it is there for the asking.

Fun Moments

At 11:15pm, as I crawled from the bathroom into the hallway (see previous posts...) I heard Carina's voice call me from Louissa and Julia's adjacent bedroom - "Mom, are you too tired or can you come in here?"

Are you kidding? I jump at the chance to be a part of their world. So I crept closer, pushed aside the door and looked in to see three heads lined up on the pillows of the double bed. They have been sleeping together almost every night since she came home. We shared a few thoughts as they giggled and pondered at the words spoken. They pulled the comforter up to their three chins as I exited the room. Too cute.

Minutes later Rick and I settled in beneath our own warm comforter. Conversation continued in both rooms until I heard footsteps ascending the nearby stairway. I quickly explained, "That would be Tricia. David said she would be needing a bed and would arrive late."

Sure enough there is a knock on the girls' door followed by late night greetings and giggles. David made his way up as well to be sure she was settled, and soon joined in the storytelling. He has become a part of the family. All this at 11:30pm.

We listened in for a few moments. I smiled and held his arm, and sighed. "I like this house. I like having people in our house. I hope it doesn't change."

"I do, too," came his happy response.

His Promise

God's Word to Abraham, of whom I am counted a descendant:

Genesis 17.7 I'm establishing my covenant between me and you, a covenant that includes your descendants, a covenant that goes on and on and on, a covenant that commits me to be your God and the God of your descendants.

Whoa! Did you get that?! "...a covenant that goes on and on and on,a covenant that commits me to be your God and the God of your descendants."

He is totally committed, forever and ever stuck with a promise that will not end, a contract that will never run out. It won't be spent or depleted, never emptied or exhausted. This covenant is solvent, completely dependable; it's water tight and thoroughly reliable. Always there. Going on and on and on. He will always be our God. Forever and ever.

Now isn't that good, good news?

The reminder brought fullness of joy to this frail heart once again.